Cats are from Venus, Dogs are from Mars

"It's a little-known fact that cats and dogs originate in quite different parts of our solar system, and are totally alien species to one another. Arriving on Earth and adopted by humans in the far distant past, they have forgotten this fundamental aspect of their history. That, essentially, is why modern cats and dogs have such disastrous relationships."

"What about my needs?"

"Cats and Dogs have differing emotional needs, which very much affect the way they inter-relate. Cats want reassurance; they need to hear something said repetitively and consistently if they are to feel assured that it is true, otherwise they will quickly stop believing it. But dogs tend to say something once, and then presume that is will be taken as true until they say something different. This is an issue for another couple who came to me for help, Beefy and Fifi. Here's how a typical conversation between them would go.

Fifi: Do you love me?
Beefy: Of course I love you.
Fifi: Why don't you ever tell me you love me?
Beefy: I did tell you I love you.
Fifi: But that was a year ago.
Beefy: Well, it's still true. OK?

There is clearly a difference of perspective here. At this point, Beefy thinks the matter has been cleared up, but Fifi feels unheard and uncared for. As the conversation continues, the difference in communication patterns becomes even more clear:

Fifi: Well, how am I to know that you still love me when you don't tell me?
Beefy: Have I told you I don't love you any more?
Fifi: No
Beefy: Did I say, 'By the way, I hate you?"
Fifi: No…
Beefy: Well, that means I still love you. OK?

This isn't the kind of reassurance that Fifi is looking for; furthermore, Beefy is now beginning to feel as if a big fuss is being made of nothing. I told Beefy and Fifi that they would have to become aware of this difference if they were going to improve their communication and strengthen their relationship."

Email: gerrythompson@hotmail.co.uk